June 17, 2008

Summer Life

So I started a special blog just for the summer- Click on me. So now, faithful reader, you can keep up with Jane's crazy antics well into the summer. (Notice how I pretend that someone's reading this?) I will probably not be updating this blog until august or september when i'm back at school.

But be sure to check out the new blog!! It's going to be fun and have pictures and .... you know... be ... cool.

nite nite
~jane

June 7, 2008

Holy Crap, It's Summer.

Lainy and I are going to yoga tomorrow night (yay) and then boyfriend comes down in a few days to go to the !! Jimmy Buffett !! concert on saturday!!! hella tight. I leave on the 16th for camp. It's seems so far away but I know that I'm not ready yet and It's going to jump out on me at the last second.

Alright, well, i'm going to head over to stephen's graduation party (way to go!!) and I'll update more later

Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow.

April 28, 2008

A Quick Update.

A Quick Update that's already taken longer than planned:

My Aunt Nancy died three weeks ago today.
It's still weird to say that.
It's the last week of classes.
I have a 3-5 page single spaced paper on torture. (due last friday)
I have a 3 page single spaced paper on classism in US. (due wednesday)
Climbing Seneca Rocks with boyfriend on saturday.
Monday is one year anniversary with boy.
I hate my roommate's computer.
Next week is finals. I may or may not survive.
Stephan Colbert is fabulous.
I'm exhausted.
I may be in love with Dr. Botteron.
She rocks!
corn + magic = gasoline
Dr. Botteron's class might be stealing my soul.

April 4, 2008

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Sorry it's soooooo...ooooo sooo long!!

I've got this awful test tomorrow that i will most likely fail. (there goes my A!) and I feel really really sickly. And X-Files isn't on for no apparent reason. AND I can't sleep. CAN'T SLEEP... ... ... ... .... ...

I'm SO sick. This is the first year in like 5 years that I haven't gotten either Strep or Bronchitis, but I still have this sick blahness and I'm sneezing more than usual (usual = strep/bronchitis) I usually like sneezing, but this time it's like actual sick and I hate it. I feel like crying and I don't know why. I mean, I'm listening to George Michael, (and not Wham!, just GM) watching Golden Girls, (actually a commercial about the Army National Guard and now I'm sad because Boyfriend is away for 3 days because of you, well, it might be because of ROTC, but ARMY is ARMY is ARMY) I have a KILLER math test tomorrow that I will most likely fail but I'm sick so whatev. Also, I'm OFFICIALLY (woo) disabled. ... yeah. Thank You... ADD. way to go. Lordie, I'm screwed. I mean, I get to schedule earlier than the rest of the student body, but I don't feel disabled. You know? You wouldn't know I have ADD unless I told you, or if I forget my meds once or for a few days ::cough- all of spring break- cough:: again-> Whatev.

But at least I've got this Poli Sci test finished and ready to hand in. (Woot! ps. on that- Trent and I have a 1 hour productivity limit... with sarcasm added/implied thankyouverymuch Dr. B.) and like I said, pretty dresses and Golden Girls. So... I suppose ... life is good?

Good night, and good luck.

If this doesn't make sense, I'm sorry, but I'm a little discombobulated. .. Which apparently I can't spell. Anyway, I'm kinda going back and forth (hell, i'm takin the freakin ADD meds!) But still weird.
*************************************
Basically I can't sleep so I'm typing. For NO apparent reason other than I can. I'm Sorry that you're reading this. I don't know why you are. Weirdo.

much love.
jane

March 25, 2008

Keepin' the Faith

[I originally wrote this as a note to my Amanda, but I feel that it applies to
everyone and therefore, I am posting my thoughts and forcing them onto the
Blogging world.]

First of all- PROPS to William for posting "UBL" on my friend Amanda's
Facebook. FINALLY! Someone gets the guy's friggin name right. This is one
of my pet peeves. (Of which I have several.) The man is Usama bin Laden.
You may know him as Osama bin Laden. You would be wrong. The FBI and
the State Department have ALWAYS called him Usama, or UBL. For no
apparent reason after September 11th, 2001, the American Media changed
his name. Maybe it's because they (I mean "They") didn't want a terrorist
who took more American lives than anyone ever before to have a name that
begins with USAma, or maybe some intern at a news office messed it up
by accident and they just ran with it. Who knows? Either way, its Usama
bin Laden
. End of story. Don't believe me? Just ask the FBI. Go to the FBI
website, and on the middle right-hand side there's a link that says "Most
Wanted Terrorists" click it, He's numero uno. Look, I'll even provide you
with a link.
http://www.fbi.gov/wanted/terrorists/terbinladen.htm
MOVING ON>
Something I would like to say: you can't let the world get you down and I'll tell
you why. Did Bartlet let conflict between India and Pakistan get him down?
No. he immediately got the ambassadors in the white house and tried to
dissipate the situation. One man. and the guy has MS.

What did Josh and Toby do when they met Matt Kelly at that little bar? Did
they despair at the poor conditions of the economy? Or did they do
something about it? No one thought that they could, not even the President
of the United States, but they had an idea and they ran with it. That, my
friend, is going to be you (the people who are committed to the study of
history, politics, social justice, human rights, civil liberties, world events,
terrorism, and government) some years from now.

Just remember from 20 Hours in America, part 2:
JOSH: Campaigns aren't about the candidates.
TOBY: No?
JOSH: They're about the voters. How-how are we going to create jobs? how-
how are we going to get healthcare? How are we going to make the lights go
on? How are we going to protect ourselves?

The point is that it's not about the state of affairs, it's not about what has, could,
or will happen, it's about YOU. It's
about the future of politics. It's what we are going
to do to
fix the world. And you can't lose hope for change, because Faith that you
can change it is the only thing that will ever
change the world. And a little bit of
cynicism can be good.
It's what allows us to not simply accept the status quo, but
to
effect change. To demand change. The key is to stay just critical enough to force
a change, but not too much that you
lose the faith that you can.

JOSH: Learn things. Be good to each other. Read the newspapers, go to
the movies, go to a party. Read a book. In the meantime, remember
pluralism. You want to get these people? I mean, you really want to reach in
and kill them where they live? Keep accepting more than one idea. Makes
'em absolutely crazy.
Josh then, of course, reminds the students to refrain from stealing anything
before they leave :) I leave you with that my faithful reader.

March 21, 2008

The Equinox Is Usually Good to Me

This past week: Sunday I picked boyfriend up from the airport and saw him for the first time in almost two weeks, spring break ended, but hell, it's SPRING! St. Patrick's Day was Monday and I had some friends over, I got to talk to Dr. B (happy face), nothing has changed with Rebecca, but I don't think that anything can salvage that at this point, and I've stopped caring. Tuesday Dulé Hill(!) and Zachary Quinto came to Ship for an amazing Obama rally. I got to meet Dulé Hill (Charlie!) and Zach Quinto (Syler!) and had Dulé sign some pictures and it was absolutely one of the greatest moments ever. I joined the Ship College Democrats club and talked to the chair of the Political Science department about the issues I've had switching majors. We worked it out and solved the problem (!) another Yay! . I've been helping to register students to vote, I've gotten about 20 total new voters and changing party/address. So that was really cool. I got Skype and a cool camera/microphone thingey for the Lappy to use with it (fun new toy to explore!). Today was a great ep of my favorite show, and this morning's episode (2am boo) is Hollywood A.D. which is one of my absolute favorite eps ever! Also, today's my birthday AND Good Friday, and yesterday was Free Rita's Day. I get to go home tomorrow with boyfriend for birthday/Easter celebrations. So WOW. I'm really excited.

Well, I have been really busy and today's my birthday so I'm just going to post some photos that remind me of spring. Let me know what you think Amanda. (I say Amanda because I'm fairly sure that you're the only one who reads this) : )

This one always makes me think of hope. And the lyrics of a Matt Duke song about inner city violence: "One small bird flew away from this earth, with wings pushing so hard, hard but looking down on that once fragile ground, she's happy to be in the sky" I don't know why, but it just makes me think of that.


Like the first crisp days of spring: colorful, bright and full of excitement and anticipation for the months to come.

I thought that this one was pretty and suited my mood for the week.


I love this. I just love that face.

February 16, 2008

A psalm of comfort.

Psalm 77

For the director of music. For Jeduthun. Of Asaph. A psalm.

I cried out to God for help; I cried out to God to hear me.
When I was in distress, I sought the Lord; at night I stretched out untiring hands and my soul refused to be comforted.

I remembered you, O God, and I groaned; I mused, and my spirit grew faint. Selah
You kept my eyes from closing; I was too troubled to speak.
I thought about the former days, the years of long ago;
I remembered my songs in the night. My heart mused and my spirit inquired:

"Will the Lord reject forever? Will he never show his favor again?
Has his unfailing love vanished forever? Has his promise failed for all time?
Has God forgotten to be merciful? Has he in anger withheld his compassion?" Selah

Then I thought, "To this I will appeal: the years of the right hand of the Most High."
I will remember the deeds of the LORD; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds.

Your ways, O God, are holy. What god is so great as our God?
You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples.
With your mighty arm you redeemed your people, the descendants of Jacob and Joseph. Selah

The waters saw you, O God, the waters saw you and writhed; the very depths were convulsed.
The clouds poured down water, the skies resounded with thunder; your arrows flashed back and forth.
Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind, your lightning lit up the world; the earth trembled and quaked.
Your path led through the sea, your way through the mighty waters, though your footprints were not seen.

You led your people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron.


That's all for now, I have a lot of work to do for school, I just wanted to get this out.

February 4, 2008

Enemies, Foreign and Domestic

I had to write an article review and this article was really, really interesting. Of course, it may only be interesting if you like politics, but it was amazing how the author looked at the consequences of how we react to terrorism. I'm posting part of the review that I wrote if you don't want to read the article itself.

"The author's main point was based around the premise that the fight against terrorism must be construed as a fight for human rights, but that governments are using terrorist acts, and September 11th 2001 in particular, to usurp human rights and has become a fight against a small group of radical criminals rather than an effort to end that which incites terrorism. The evidence that supported this included a broad look at how the societies that deny basic freedoms are or can be a breeding ground for terrorist sympathies. Also, Roth examines how the West interacts with countries because of the possibility of instability that comes with democratizing.
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." -Muhatma Ghandi


This was written just after the United States invaded Iraq and before the fall of Saddam Hussein, and the author points out that "an immediate democratic transition may not be possible in such a warped political environment." Immediately after September 11th, many governments rephrased their actions in foreign countries, labeling them anti-terrorist to avoid human rights violations repercussions. Roth points out that governments can acknowledge civil liberties, without inciting extremist groups and organizations. He cites Iran for "a gradual and partial political opening has corresponded with a movement demanding greater respect for civil liberties." and that "the appeal of violent, intolerant movements diminishes as people are given the chance to participate meaningfully in politics." Another problem that occurs with an attempt to encourage human rights is America's unwillingness to support human rights, even "refusing to sign treaties on women's rights, children's rights, economic, social, and cultural rights" In May of 2002, the Bush administration even went so far as to un-sign the International Criminal Court, a forum for prosecuting future cases of genocide, that the Clinton administration hesitantly signed.
Roth also notes that the Patriot Act was used as a blanket to obscure the reasons for the over 1000 detainees that the US government held after September 11th. In addition, Bush's refusal to follow the Geneva convention codes in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba not only endangers possible American prisoners of war, but flaunts Washington's aversion to human rights standards."

It's frustrating to think that our own government has ignored human rights and civil liberties. A country that was founded on the ideals of liberty and freedom and yet, now is a country that denies these most vital rights as they are taken from the neediest of citizens. This begs the question, what then, are the measures of human rights? How do we know that America is different from Saudi Arabia? Or Nazi Germany? We have all heard the reports of Muslim women in their birkas being forced to remove them at airports while catholic nuns in habits are allowed to pass free. Is this a violation? How about when we demand just treatment for our men in arms when they are prisoners of war, and then blatantly refuses to follow the Geneva Convention codes of conduct towards POWs. Referring to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, Bush said 'Well, Al Qaeda members are prisoners of war, but Taliban members are not.' OK, then American military are POWs, but private contractors who are American citizens fighting beside our military, are not? Can we pick and choose the specific enumerations of the Geneva Convention that we choose to follow? How about the human rights we choose to honour?
How can we, as a people, encourage our government to behave like those they govern have inherent value, and inherent rights? All people have value and deserve to be treated like humans. Regardless of race, creed, or country of origin. And now, you might say to me, But Jane! that doesn't make sense. If someone is a terrorist and is trying to take lives, don't we have the right to protect ourselves and interrogate them and do whatever is necessary to protect America? Well, the answer is nuanced and complicated. No. Alright, that was a little easier than I thought. Who has not heard the phrase "Violence only begets more violence." It's like when people think that capitol punishment is a deterrent for crime, when every study says otherwise. You can't FIX terrorism. You can't fix ANYTHING by usurping human rights and using it against a group of people. The only possible way to stop violence and terrorism is to provide civil liberties to an oppressed people, and to give them hope for participation in their government.

January 29, 2008

"Sleepless" 2x04

The third week of school has begun and it feels so unreal. Like all of life is trivial. It's well past 3am and I think it's only fitting that the X-Files episode "Sleepless" is on. " I want to believe. But I need a place to start." (boo Krychek having my favourite line, but it's before he was RatBoy) in other news, I just finished my Bio for the monologues, (almost) and I've just been really, for lack of a better word, pissy, all day. I was miserable in my classes, and my coffee was just not cutting it today, although the Kenya AA is my favourite. I had to fix the stupid mistake I made with my rent money deposit, I have a friggin TON of reading to do, and I'm not a fan of journal articles or reviews, but that's what you get for studying political science. I just need some sleep I suppose, but all of this stress has to go away. I can't sleep with all this noise.

I did a good deal of thinking (shock-face) yesterday and I was thinking about a proper way to memorialize someone. Is simply thinking about them enough? Or is it living as they did? Finally taking that advice they gave you years ago, or actual emulation whether of self or specific ideals? I also looked back on the many (MANY) people that I have lost in the past few years. (I'm up to eight since 2000) But there are very few, two, in fact, who touched my life in a real sense. These are people who have changed not only who I am as a person, but how I view myself, my personal outlook on life, and the window through which I view others. My Aunt Mary who passed away in April 2000 when she was 47, she had been fighting breast cancer for a long time though, and she was one of the strongest people that I have ever been privileged to know. And Jared Hess whose ten month battle with AML Leukemia ended this Friday, 25 January 2008 as I mentioned below, Sunday would have been his 30th birthday. Jared's faith throughout this ordeal has been absolutely inspiring and at the same time, utterly tragic.

Aunt Mary is one of my heroines, one of the many people to whom I aspire to be like, very few are lifted to "Hero" status. She never lost hope, she was always kind and gentle, and even to the last was telling those around her that she would be fine. There are some random awkward moments that I remember of her as a child and it saddens me to realize that my memories of her are slowly fading. I remember visiting her in the hospital on the day that she died. She was so tiny and frail in that bed, but when she saw us she just lit up, she was smiling and hugging and talking like nothing was wrong, like not a day had passed. In all of the memories that I have of her she was smiling, and in the later years with her trademark hat. Christmas was always there with her and the whole family (there's a lot of us) would be there (seriously, a lot) She was always beautiful, always just being herself. Whenever I think of her I think kindness, caring, and love. I think that that's how she would want to be remembered.

Jared and Anne have both become heroes of mine, for their unwavering Faith. With everything that they've gone through and how young he was and Anne having those two sweet little boys at home, to still have that Faith that God will carry you through. I don't think that even they realize how strong they are. For Jared to be forced to come to terms and deal with his own death and mortality, and talk about the joy that he's had, how full his life was, and to not be consumed by hopelessness, but by Hope itself. And for Anne, whom I pray for every day, to lose the love of her life and talk about how he lives on in their boys, how he is now with God. How she can look back with love and see how God has worked in her life and their life together. And yes, I can say he's no longer in any pain, but he's not Here, with her. I couldn't deal with that, how does one even begin? "Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me." When I think of Jared I always feel like singing. Singing songs of Praise and songs of Faith. With his blog it's as if everyone was personally and deeply involved with every step of this process. Living with him the joys of health and the pains of defeat, of hunger for a good PB&J, and for relief from the fever and pain. But through it all, Jared had this absolute unwavering Faith and trust in the Lord. One of the things that always made him happy was reading scripture that people sent him.

I figured that the best way to memorialize these people that affected me in such a profound way was to actually take parts of the ways that they lived and emulate that, and that would remind me of them and allow me to live in memory of them, and have them go on through me. Jared didn't believe in putting anything in our bodies like caffeine (gasp) or even advil. I quickly discovered that I can not give up coffee, so I decided to give up drinking. And it's not that I drink a lot, but it's not doing anything positive for me, so what's left is the negative. This is also kind of sad because I just bought a good deal of a cabernet-sauvignon for formal. And for Aunt Mary, I just want to live my life how I think she would have.

Be kinder, more forgiving, less judgmental, more caring. Living Faithfully, living with love for people, love for God, being peaceful, giving praise.

Song for the post:

Anointing, fall on me Anointing, fall on me Let the power of the holy ghost fall on me Anointing, fall on me

Touch my hands my mouth and my heart Fill my life Lord, every part Let the power of the holy ghost fall on me Anointing, fall on me

Let the power of the holy ghost fall on me Anointing, fall on me Anointing, fall on me

January 28, 2008

The Substance of Things Hoped For....

Sunday:

So, my fault. I didn't check the blog before I left for Philly and I wasn't even going to go, but something was just telling me to go home. And then I was (well, Brandon and I were..) babysitting Joe's daughter's babies. They're twins, and three months old, and it was for almost 8 hours. I was exhausted and I wanted to go home and pass out but Megan wanted me to go out and I was just pissy and frustrated and I went out and then by the time we got home it was like after 1am, so I wasn't going to go to church, that, and Brandon was there, and my mom had someone seeing the house (potential buyer!!) so we had to clean, but you know when you get that feeling like you HAVE to do something?

Jared, this guy at my church, he was diagnosed with Leukemia in May of 07, ten months ago. He's always been really healthy, in shape, eats right and all that, so it was a total shock. He and his wife Anne have this great little boy Caleb who just turned two last month, and a new baby, Noah, who was born in October. Well, Jared hasn't been doing to well, he has a blog on this amazing site caringbridge.org and it's been really trying for everyone who reads it because of all the ups and downs and near remissions. Jared went home for hospice care last week and he passed away on Friday.

Well, Brandon and I went to ocmc today and I found out about Jared there and started crying in church and I felt like a jackass.

But Anne and her mom, Caleb, Noah, and Jared's parents were all in church today. It's not just in the caringbridge blog, Anne seems to be holding up extraordinarily well. I think that about halfway through Len's sermon (which was mostly about Jared) I realized that I wasn't crying for Jared but for Anne. Amanda is right, I would be pissed at God. How dare He! How can she be so eloquent and positive when she now has two little boys to raise without their father? How dare He leave Caleb and Noah to not be old enough to even remember their dad. How dare he take Jared so young. It's not fair. It's just not fair. I couldn't deal with it.

The amazing strength that both Jared and Anne have shown in the past 10 months has been awe-inspiring, to me at least. I am in absolute awe of how they both (Jared especially) have taken this in stride. I just- I couldn't do it. Maybe I just don't yet have that amount of Faith in God. and the Faith to trust that He knows what He's doing. It's just hard to think that there is a plan for each of us when you see, first-hand, the pain that the nicest people go through.

Anyway- today would have been Jared's 30th birthday. Pastor Len said that he's probably up with the Lord in one big party. I bet he's wearing a cone birthday hat. That would be just like him.

January 27, 2008

Pilot, Season One.

Hi there everyone. Everyone= The Blogging world, not the two (maybe three) people who will ever read this.
First: a little bit about me. I'm Jane. (Hey girl hey!) I am a student of Political Science at Shippensburg University in bumblefuck PA. I live with my friend Beth and our cats, Leona and Churchill. And another girl lives here too. I have a fabulous boyfriend, who is one of the three people reading this so, Hi Huney! I like to buy purses and I make jewelry, it's not really nice stuff, but I like it. I think "blog" is a silly word. So is spatula. I attend Oxford Circle Mennonite Church when I am home and I kind of wander when I'm at school. Two years and you think I could find a church by now. I also take Tae Kwon Do, which is really fun, I like to feel tough, but in sparring I'm a total wimp.
Anyway- Enough about me (there'll be more of that to follow) This blog is really just going to be a way for me to reflect back on myself as I grow as a person, a student, and try to grow in Faith. 
The title of said blog refers to a West Wing episode, (in season four) "Evidence of Things Not Seen” in which CJ has one of my favourite lines: ”Because I've got Faith mi compadre- That's the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.” And that's what I hope to be. It's the goal, the outcome. Faithful. One who is full of Faith. True, realistic, authentic.
We'll see.
Song of the moment: Tidal Waves, Matt Duke