June 22, 2014

World War Z... LIVE!

I am currently watching World War Z. I thought this might be a good time to stop and tell you how I'm feeling about this. In real time. It's only fair really, as nerds, dorks, and geeks who have already seen this, you must be rolling your eyes. "How could she not have seen World War Z? It's only been everywhere!"  I know. And I'm remedying that now. So you get to hear my thoughts as I watch the movie.

***WARNING Here there be spoilers***

Seriously, I'm going to be talking about the plot and specific incidents so if you haven't seen it yet, welcome to the interwebs and get yourself a Netflix account.

I am about 25 minutes into the movie right now. This is right after Brad Pitt tells the spanish-speaking family that movement is life. Movimiento es Vida. But they stay, and moments after Brad and his family leave we hear the screaming of runner zombies. We can assume what happens to that lovely family. (Psst: It's Zombies) Cut to the whole family running up the Apartment stairs to get to the magic helicopter on the roof they keep telling their kids about much in the same way the suits Brad is talking to is telling him.

Okay - Dude. why is Brad Pitt the ONLY one with a fracking weapon? and whatever duct taped to your arm that passes for armour? Shouldn't the last person on your little rope chain also have some duct tape armour? Unless you want to literally be tied to a zombie version of your wife/child. I couldn't really tell who is last in line. But regardles, no one wants that. NO ONE.

Speaking of Brad Pitt being the only one with armour... How about a weapon for your wife?! Why is he sole defender of a family of four? Bitch- there are eight hands that can hold weapons in this chain gang. Are six of them broken? Honestly, if your wife can't handle a weapon when literally being attacked by ZOMBIES and facing not only her zombification (?) but that of her children and she STILL can't handle picking up a knife or duct-tape-handled shard of glass?

Brad, you may need to sit for this.

Leave her. That's it.
You can not survive fighting by yourself against the entire state of New Jersey filled with Zombies. Cut the weakest link. Who, you ask? I dunno, let's saaaaay.... the ONLY OTHER ADULT but she can't handle a Gorram weapon!! OH! You know who else looks a whole lot like the weakest link right about now? Connie.

Yeah, I know, your sweet baby. Cut. Her. Loose. All she does is bitch about her blankie, be overprotected, carried, pushed in a shopping cart, told to follow, told to listen, whine, and cry. I'm sorry, I know it's your kid and all but when the fast-running-scary turn-you-immediately-into-one-of-them zombies come a knockin'........ You may need to pick a favorite.

Oh god. That means the favorite is the asthmatic, Oh dude. You're screwed. Accept your fate. but maybe make a good show so your family dies thinking you tried.


one minute later...

Okay, the zombie getting tossed down the elevator shaft is cool, very well done. And HOLY SHIT. Little kid is AWESOME. That kid was a caretaker from the start. But his save is one thing I didn't see. Also the Frau finally gets some non-feminine responsibilities and handles some shit buy walking through a door and lighting a flare. Woo. Feminists everywhere applaud. (that's sarcasm.) 

Which may be another story for another time; but at the very beginning of this movie they talked about Brad giving up his job to be a stay at home dad. Great! Awesome! More power to you as a father and a dad and your wife as the primary earner in the family. SHE brings home the bacon. This might be a good movie.... Anf then zombies strike and she's completely helpless.

Alright, so they get rescued... now what? Whatever government agency/contractor Brad used to work for has some pull, but why are they saving him? Is he that much Hot Shit? Who is he? Gaius Baltar? Mr. I'm too important to be left to die on this forsaken planet? Or more like a Shepherd Book... "Check my ident card"- and tell the Alliance what to do as all of his friends stand idly by, shocked and confused? Well?! Which?

And please tell me he kept on to that Albuterol because I guarantee that kid's going to need her inhaler again.

And suddenly- ohmygods they're landing on a Carrier in the Atlantic. Ok, so ... government not contractor. That was fast. Good job wifey, you saved us! Not His willingness to throw himself off of a building if he even speculated that he was infected, so as to save your pitiful lives with his last moments.


33 minutes in...
"Take a look around here Mr. Lane, Each and every one of these people are here because they serve a purpose. There's no room for non-essential personnel. 
Another reason to ditch the family. *cough* I mean, oh wow! look how great of a thing he's whatever at the time of the... now.


Anywho. As I see them, the interesting points of this conversation are thus:
1. They are on an aircraft carrier. At sea. and unless the zombies learn to swim, I think they will be fine until food runs out.
1. a) You are pretty darn well armed. I think you'll be okay.
1. b) Stop bringing new people on board with their entire families and you will have a longer food supply. We saw one guy with a wife and two kids, but the next guy has 3 grandkids that he can't leave behind, and the next woman is taking care of her elderly parents and can't leave them behind... or her 2 kids. And the dog has to come now too.

THIS IS A MILITARY OPERATION. Leave your family at home, and do your job. If you save the human race, GREAT! Awesome! Wunderbar! Thanks a lot buddy! If not, well, you're probably dead so you don't care anymore.

and 2. This guy either has a SERIOUS Gilbert and Sullivan complex (-it's the one about duty! -they're allI about duty.) or he owes the government some serious facetime. Like, they gave that guy launch codes or something . Was he head of Homeland Security or something? WHO could be so important? *cough* Shepherd Book *cough

I see where this is going, Book. You thought you had me!

Hitting play on the movie now.


one minute later...

Seriously?! Ok. I legitimately hate his wife. F: "You absolutely CAN NOT go!" M: "They need me to! and if I don't they'll give us to the zombies!" F: "But please, no! I'm helpless without you" M: "Don't worry, I'll stop the Zombies, fix the world, come back, get you, and then go home." F: "......         Okay. But I'm not happy about it."

Whine about your survival some more, please. You're welcome. And take care of this kid who saved all of our lives while you were opening a door and lighting a flare and couldn't stop me from eating zombie blood because doing all three was too complicated.

and the Airplane hatch opening at minute 39 was one of the scariest things ever.



about 40 minutes in... 
South Korea.
Shit just got real.
We find out that not only are the zombies everywhere, but body shots only slow them down, head shots are best and just to be safe they burn the bodies. Then we see the room of mostly ashes. and some unburned fingers... and they're moving! So the only way to really kill these dead people is to literally burn them away. We already heard the super smart doctor guy saying that mother nature is the best serial killer, but there's always a chink in the armour. That she tries to disguise her greatest weaknesses as strengths. Also to verify they are alive, they check the eyes with a red light. I wonder if she was checking for pupil contraction or blood vessels or what?

What else do we know? Oh! they are attracted to sound. That's going to be a big one.
Also that the memo/ e-mail was sent from South Korea 11 days ago. So in less than 2 weeks, it's spread from there to America.

Seriously, the fast zombies actually scare me. I'm watching this with the lights on.


46 minutes in...
I had to stop it when David Morse (!) started pulling his teeth out. In all fairness.... No teeth no biting no spread of disease, even though he claims it can't be a virus. I suppose we shall see.

OH GOD IT MADE A SOUND!!! UGH!!! I can't handle that kind of stuff!

OMG! David Morse just said No teeth no biting no great spread or something almost identical. That's awesome. I love when I get shit right. I mean, ick, but cool.

And now we head to Jerusalem. If they are drawn to sound, how do they expect to take off and land an airplane? Just saying...


55 minutes in...
Nothing very important has happened here yet.

OK! Things are happening now in Jerusalem!!!
Everyone be quiet!!! Eek!!

Alright, a minute later we see a confused looking elderly man surrounded by zombies and they are ignoring him. This is not the first time we see someone completely quiet being ignored by the Z's. I feel like we are getting a fuller picture now of what the zombies entail...

This is incredibly entertaining, Jerusalem buildings are very close together so when the zombies come in it's like watching Zombie Parkour through the Holy Land.

That.... is not a sentence I ever would have imagined I would need in my life.

More J-town: I just watched the bit where the bald kid with a cricket bat covers his head and curls up into a bal and the zombies ignore him because he's silent. But it's more than that. They're not ignoring him, they're specifically avoiding him. And thinking about it, that's what happened last time too, the Z's specifically, intentionally avoided the old man in the crowd. I bet that will be of importance later. Unless it was just used to exaggerate the fact that they can't see you if you're quiet.

Woah. What if they can't see? That's my 1 hour 5 prediction. 1:05 and I'm calling that the zombies are blind. but they can't be using like, radar or echo because first of all they wouldn't be equipped with that sensory knowledge. And second, those techniques would have the Z's doing a whole heck of a lot of quiet-sitting-still-people eating. That makes sense with te red lights in the eyes now. Looking for occlusions.


1:15 hours in...
Almost to Cardiff
I think Jewish Army Girl is turning into a zombie still. The little chihuahua dog keep barking at her. He's been doing it since they got on the plane and at first it was like, oh, that's an annoying dog, but now it's a very deliberate "I am staring at you and barking (yipping) now."

Alright. So the dog was barking at a zombie, just not the woman I thought had a delayed reaction. Neato. So now BRad Pitt just has to tell the first class cabin to shut the hell up, right? Your Silence will save you!

The Silence Will Fall! ---wait, no. that's different.

Which now begs the question, if the person has prior knowledge before becoming infected, do they retain that knowledge? Will the stewardess remember there are people up front? Will the other passengers? Will she remember who the Soldier is? Brad Pitt? The Pilots? I don't know. I guess not though. otherwise this would be a pretty short movie.


1:17 hours in...
Still almost in Cardiff
This annoys me. (surprise?) Why are they fortifying the curtains??? First of all, they're curtains. second, if you are silent, it shouldn't matter. The (what did that guy call them?) Zekes can't hear/see/notice you.
So yes. YES. Let's take this probably unnecessary precaution that requires several people to move around the cabin at once and you know, you just know, that someone is going to drop a bag and then what? It's like shouting out, "Hey! Let's give away the location to our secret headquarters!!!!" But inherently worse because, fast moving zombies.


1:18 hours in...

15 seconds later..... Yup. just what I said. Great. I mean, it makes for a great film sequence, the Proletariat in hand to hand combat against the bourgeoisie, but I still think this whole fight is Brad's fault. Completely unnecessary.


1:27 hours in...
Oh my god, It's seriously Peter Capaldi. He's awesome and so super cool and really good looking actually, I mean, for being a bit older but What's he doing in this movie oh my god it's really him?!

Sorry. Let me get ahold of myself.


1:27 hours in... 2nd try
CardiffThe guy is impaled. ok. good. Otherwise that entire crash sequence would have been utterly stupid. no one gets out of that crash without a scratch. At first we are led to believe that Brad is the only survivor, then we see a Zeke, and then Soldier Girl. Alright. Fine. Fair enough, everyone else who wasn't strapped to a seat got sucked out of the gaping hole in the side of the aircraft. Or disappeared, or whatever. MOVIES! 

So the first thing, I mean the VERY first thing Brad does is try to remove what's impaled him?! WHAT AN IDIOT.
Seriously, how many arteries, veins, organs has that thing punctured and now happens to be holding together by it's mere presence?! Let's take it out! Oh. Wait. No, that's the absolute worst thing you could do at that moment. Really. Hello internal bleeding!

So they magically make it to the WHO and all of a sudden, Peter freaking Capaldi is there. I think he said something, I freaked out and hit pause to give myself a fangirl moment.


?? hours in...

June 13, 2014

A New Level of Geekdom

As of next thursday, I will have reached a new level of geekdom. Cosplay. (Amanda, cosplay is when you dress as characters from TV, movies, comic books or other fandoms) 
I'll let that sink in a moment. But Jane! You were so cool! Why?

Thanks, internet, and yes. I was cool. I still am! Even more so now! Promise. 

It all started when I met Captain Kyle. Just a random guy on the street in Center City, dressed as Captain Hammer like it was nothing. I got a picture with him and friended him on Facebook. Than we became friends. And that's kind of how it all started.
Four sweater vests!!
For a while now, people have been telling me that I should go to Cons, (Conventions) but I always thought people who did that were TOTALLY out there. Out there in a way I couldn't see myself getting excited over or wanting to be a part of. Now I realize how crazy I was to exclude something potentially very fun from my life for no reason other than the 3 year old's reaction: Ew! I don't wanna. 
A lot earlier this year, maybe even very late last year, my cousin's husband Julian talked me into going to Philadelphia's Wizard World Con this summer, actually in less than a week (EEK!!!) And becoming friends with Kyle inspired (and very strongly encouraged!) my going as a character. Because I am such a total Whovian, I wanted to go as Amy Pond every day of the four-day convention. Then I remembered there are other things I enjoy too. I decided a few weeks ago that I am going as Jayne Cobb from Firefly, and Captain Kyle is going as Mal Reynolds on Sunday of Wizard World and another friend is going as Kaylee. S we're going to be a whole little set. It's wonderful.

Where to begin?
I had NO idea where to begin. 
My step-niece turned 13 a week or so after I decided I wanted to try cosplaying and it was a Doctor Who themed party. Perfect. I can test drive this whole cos thing. But where to start? I couldn't realistically start dropping mad cash on costumes and accessories but without those, what else is there? 
Luckily, on Purim I had strongly encouraged my boyfriend to go as Matt Smith so I had access to a perfect 11th Doctor costume. He had the fez, bow tie and suspenders. I had a colored buttoned shirt and tweed jacket. I think it worked out well. I just have to get rid of the glasses, but they kind of match and I can't see anything without them. : /
What I like to call the $1300 selfie.
Seriously, The Doctor loves Birthdays!
What's Next?
Besides that West Wing reference? (Amanda got it.) I am going to try to finish this Ood mask that I am crocheting for day one of Wizard World, if I can't get it done in time I can fall back on my 11th Doctor. (Obviously. I rocked that.) I will be posting more in a day or so about how the other costumes are coming along and how panicked I am about wearing them out. I think everything will be fine. I just need to have some confidence in myself.
This is the Ood mask.
In case you just squealed at the sight and idea of making your own Ood mask, I am including the link to the free pattern by Lilana Wofsey Dohnert.
If you, on the other hand, just decided that maybe I'm a loooooot weirder than you thought and that ood thing is just odd and what is falling from its face?! You should watch Doctor Who. You're welcome in advance.